You will need to follow these steps if you want to know what to believe :
1. You need to read the New Testament but please don't forget to ask the Lord to teach you and reveal Himself to you before you read.
2. Do listen to teachers or preachers who speak the Word of God which builds your faith and makes you love and appreciate God more.
3. Stop listening to lies when you have the feeling of not being loved as if the whole world is against you; or that you are hopeless/helpless.
4. Now, you have to listen to the truth and God's truth is His Word.
The truth is, God loves you even more than you love yourself. All your troubles have been caused by the devil, and your ignorance, NOT BY GOD!
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